- June 29th, 20:56
In recruiting, I've learned through osmosis, that timing is everything. Unfortunately, I've found this to be case in our personal lives as well. An optimist would say that no matter the time something good will come out of a situation if you look for it. Bullshit.
Just as in a career search necessitates an opening, relevant previous experience, a motivation to take on new challenges and the requisite prerequisites, so too do interpersonal relationships. Like a man just out of med school thrown into a trauma ER and calling all the shots, sometimes I feel like I'm woefully unprepared. While the doctor in the ER might be able to apply the theory to the situation and come out relatively unscathed, I imagine, that most would fail - would that failure tarnish how they feel about the profession they thought they once loved?
This may be a bit of an overstatement, but relationships, unlike jobs, are key to our species and yet, we are generally woefully unprepared to take on the challenges that these relationships bring on. Nothing in our childhood is taught about what healthy relationships are, how to give, receive, support, love, like, etc. Why do we prescribe rules for grammar, speech and other less important characteristics but not the one that correlates more closely to actual human happiness.
I write this because I am not prepared. On the cusp of 28, I feel like I have the mental maturity of an 8 year old at times. I find that I don't have all the tools I want to be able to take the next step in life. Because of this, I must go through a process of trial and error. There's no practice field for romance and friendships, you have to destroy a few friendships and romantic interests to learn.
How fucking cruel is the world, when we are trained to protect property (minimize risk through prior training before any other day to day activity) and yet, the most important thing is a fucking crash course. Losing someone because the "timing" isn't right is bad but when I find another, hopefully, by then I'll have those tools through reflection, communication and empathy. If not, well then where a tree had sprout representing a possible future, now only a stump remains. At some point, I hope a tree will grow, but for now, all I see around me is a field of stumps where the saplings were.